Wednesday, June 22, 2011

my heart longs for you

being the wife of a trucker is not the easiest in that... i miss my guy when he's gone.
i cry every time he loads up his car to head back to his truck for the week, and sometimes i cry the night before too. 
this is a new hat for me. i've never loved someone the way i love him.
not to say it's more or less then the love i have for my daughter, each has its own set of aspects and different feelings tied into it. but both the same that when either of them are away from me a part of my heart is missing. 

(i love this picture of them together)

with tristan all the pieces fit together. it just makes sense. i want to be with him all day long.
i did not understand marriage till i met this guy, and honestly neither did he. we both have come together from previous broken marriages. but let me tell you, God surely used our past to make for a solid marriage. 

 ...and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  
romans 8:28

it's been amazing to watch as God does miracles. to see the flower bloom right around us. 

we did a hand washing at our wedding, symbolizing Christ washing away our past and sins and starting over fresh and clean together through Jesus.

i use to have such a hard time with "wives submit yourself to your husbands" (ephesians 5:22-33)
it was like i had this women's rights activist inside of me (hello rebellion), and i refused to "submit" 
and it took me going through a divorce and losing nearly everything in my life to really except Jesus and when i finally opened my arms to His already opened arms everything in me changed, including understanding what the real meaning to submitting to your husband. when my brother inlaw was going over the lay out of our wedding ceremony , i asked him to change part of it stating that i would submit to tristan. i wanted to outwardly profess that i would do just as i was called to do through Christ. 

it surely is amazing the work that has been done in both of us. 

it's important to remember though...
love is not a gushy feeling, love is a choice and we to choose to love each other, just like Christ loves us.

for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
jeremiah 29:11

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