grace

(taken from faith blogs)

well, doesn't that just sum it up

oh wait, the most important part.... thank you Jesus for that grace! 

my heart runs around with blonde hair and blue eyes

one of the hardest things i've ever had to deal with is co-parenting a child. 

i'm back in oregon after a very short 24 hour stay in CA to attend mediation for my lil honey bee.

i would never wish co-parenting on another. sharing something you love with all of what you are and then some is very heart breaking. it seems no amount of praying or being hopeful can prepare you for the way things can turn out between the adult parties involved. 

it seems that when pain and hurting are involved people can say and do things that will burn holes in you.

it seems that in the moment of hurting logical thinking goes out the window.

as far as mediation goes, things went well. we just nailed down further detailed arrangements to our already set plan. only leaving 3 things we were unable to agree on; summer time, school, and immunizations.

while picking battles is a necessity during co-parenting, schooling and not vaxing are two battles i feel very strongly about.

another difficult thing about parenting a child with someone that you have a failed relationship with is when you can not agree on things a total stranger gets to step in and make decisions based off their personal belief in what's best for your child. so now not only are you co-parenting with the other parent but also with a judge.

we have court july 28th and all i can do is leave it up to God.

i have faith, i really do. i mean if i step back from my life and really take in everything i've been blessed with i have full faith God knows best. one thing i do know for sure, when i was trying to take full reigns on my life i sure did muck up the waters, but now even while the calming of the waters is painful i know Jesus is right there with me. 

in my 24 hours in CA i was called a few names that do not fit the bill, but yet they do fit the bill for someone who is hurting inside to say, to lash out in any attempt to grasp onto something that will make them hurt less.

it's a weird thing us humans do, to try and hurt others when we are hurting. as if we didn't know it sucks to hurt. it's almost like if we can hurt others then magically our pain will fade. i can honestly testify that to be not true. some not so nice things were said between me and another member of my daughters other side of  family in the heat of pain, in the moment of unsureness, in the attempt to protect... but really what we did was just wound each other. really what we did was take it out of Jesus' hands and muck up the waters a little more. 

but still i have faith.

but still i know God is bigger then this.

but still i know that He can calm the muck.

i pray to one day be able to look back at all the pain and suffering that has come hand in hand with co-parenting and not cry. to look back and be able to see just how beautiful Jesus can turn muck. 

to look back and see lives changed and hearts truly turned towards Jesus through this.

old luffs

i just had to share this...

this is so gonna be my luff and i, right down to the butt smack!

picnic baskets

i love that my husband is so easy going. i can randomly say, we are going on a picnic today and he'll be ok with it. he hardly ever shoots down my ideas, except all my attempts to get him to go on a bike ride with me, i guess after being in a truck for 5 days and throwing around 100 pound tarps a boy would be tired. but i will get him to cave to a beautiful summer bike ride one of these days! :)

 

after being away from each other most of the week, laying in the grass under a big redwood tree enjoying the cool breeze together seemed perfect. and let me tell you, it was!

we cheated a bit and filled our picnic basket with pre-made yummies

(note: we weren't as big of fans of "joy juice" as we thought we would be... the bottle was cute though)

we laid in the shade for a good 2 hours

it was so cozy on our quilt in our lil shady spot

*heart gush*

i'm thinking we'll make many trips back to this spot through out summer

bare neck

first cross off on the summer bucket list (correction...VBS was the first item to be crossed off)

cadence's hair cut...

and yes, mama cut it. 

sweet prayers

here is it.

tristan and i have decided ...

we want to have a baby.

my mama heart is not finished. 

i gained 2 sons through marrying tristan, but there is this longing in me to give birth to another baby. at least one more.

one problem, tristan had a vasectomy over 6 years ago.

so we are praying for a miracle. 

we are taking this next year to see what God does.

we've discussed a few options. 

but ultimately the out come will be from God. 

rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer

romans 12:12

july 4th

behind in the blogging department.

so, instead of letting it get even further behind i'm throwing about 3 different posts together hitting the mix button and pouring it out.

like most american's our 4th of july weekend was all about bbqs, the ocean, family, fireworks, and of course giving thanks to those who fought for our freedom.

we started off the weekend a tish early, june 30th was my hubby's 37th birthday

i had a great time exploring a little english shop in our downtown area, looking for english candy for my welsh birthday boy. i also got him some english meat pies that would work perfectly in the travel stove i got him for his truck.  (another birthday gift he was surprised with, it plugs into the cigarette lighter outlet ) my mom and i picked up bangers and wrapped bangers to fix him for dinner.

the first time i've ever cooked bangers and mash.

needless to say between him and my dad that meal had no left overs.

on saturday we headed to the oregon coast and had a nice picnic on the beach

even with the freezing water i went swimming! after a while you pretty much go numb and you can't feel it.

tristan didn't listen to me, and no sunscreen = a burned luff!

(which by the way has already turned into a sweet tan!)

after the beach we made way to get the kiddos ice cream

sunday we headed to church followed with potluck.

i made enchilada, which were devoured! 

monday we started the day bright and early at 6am to finish cooking for the 

8am flag raising and potluck brunch.

i made 2 yummy bacon and chorizo quiches

after we got the luff his finale birthday gift, a family membership to the shooting range.

boy did he ever smile!

on the way home for some naps we stopped to pick up a few small fireworks

we rounded up the day with the evening at my sisters.

we bbqed

watched the chaperone

then had fun with sparklers,  piccolo petes, and a little turtle firework

hope everyone had a safe and fun weekend!