be still

in my post from last week i shared that at the start of this year i asked God to bring me into the fire and burn off every thing in my life that was not of Him.

it's funny, when you finally give in and realize your life is better placed in God's hands then in your own, amazing things can happen... when you finally allow Him to, God can step in with so much peace and joy.  

(image from a great impression, 

also check out a giveaway that

 a wise woman builds her home is doing for them)

my little family is being faced with some big changes right now, and some of those changes may not be exactly what we want, but we are faithful that God; the one who created us, the one who breathed life into us... knows what's best for us. we've surrendered... please God direct our path. 

as the year slips by us, as time tends to do

i've noticed the things His flames have burned off of me and the sweet way He's guided me through so softly with very little pain i can't help but be comforted in His grace and love for me and for my little family. 

when the storm calms and we land where the wind gently sets us, we'll be right where God wants us.

<3

spring cleaning

today being the first day of spring, we did all sorts of cleaning.... ok, well not really. after church we snuggled in bed and had a family tickle war. then decided to watch the blind side, to which i cried my eyes out to. i loved the movie. and literally cried more then half of it! so inspiring. 

the heart in that movie is the heart i want to give to others -always! 

God has always met all my needs, and sometimes He meets my needs through other people. 

 in fact He's done more then just meet my needs He's gone above and beyond so that in return i can help bless others. 

"When someone steals a persons clothes, we call them a thief. Should we not give the same name to the one who could clothe the naked, and doesnt? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry, the coat hanging unused in your closet belongs to those who need it, the shoes rotting in your closet belongs to those who have no shoes, and the money which youve hoard up belongs to the poor."

 - St. Bazal the great

like it's boob milk???

this morning while making breakfast cadence asked me for some cheese. when i handed it to her she asked if it came from a cow....the rest of our conversation went like this...

me- yes

cadence- poor cow...poor poor cow.

me- well it's not made from it's body... it's made from the cow's milk

cadence- like it's boob milk????

me- um, yes.

cadence- poor mama and baby cow

me- well, do you still want it?

cadence- YEP! it's yummy!

hahaha. i love her!

i have a very happy vegan tummy over here tonight.

my luff muffin took me on a date to get cinnaholic

many thanks to my parents for making this date possible! (note: we picked them up rolls as well and cadence a cookie)

and since we were already in berkeley 

we decide to stop in at flacos to take part in their "rainy day" specials

$1 taquitos and $2 tacos.

hello yummy.

tristan liked the taco, but didn't really care for the taquitos

my luff is a meat eater, but i love that he'll try vegan foods for me

<3

salt+pepper

have my wedding dress

cadence has her dress and shoes!

we have our wedding invitations picked out and will start printing this week

during this whole process the "idea" we had for our wedding has changed so many times, and tristan being off work for almost 2 months (and possibly longer) because of the car accident defiantly made for some changes. but the way everything sits right now is so peaceful for me. the joy of getting married has returned, stress is gone! 

i'm so excited to enjoy the day with my family and friends.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

87 days!

the battle is raging and i dont want to be sleeping during it....

i've been giving a lot of thought to the upbringing of my daughter...

how every decision i make ultimately effects her, her views on life and how she'll handle situations that will come her way.

i say decision because a decision is the first step in actions; i make the decision to lash out in anger or to control my tongue, i make the decision to lie or to be truthful, i make the decision to be offended by things or to let them roll off of me, i make the decision to serve the Lord or not, i make the decision to go out and party or stay home with my family, i make the decision to let the injustices done to me affect me or not, i make the decision to have integrity or a lack of.

i'll be the first to admit i've made many "decisions" in my personal life in cadence's four and a half years that have had negative affects on me that i'm sure have trickled down to her. but in the last two months or so my whole out look on life has been changing. i know three things have been contributing to these changes, one...i'm actually choosing to open the door to my heart to Jesus, two...i'm for the first time in my life truly happy, and three... i asked Jesus to bring me into the fire and burn off things that were not of Him in my life.

i've spent many years trying to fill my unhappiness "hole" (which honestly came from a lack of personal relationship with Jesus) with objects that did not fit in the emptiness, in reality they made the emptiness grow, even if they seemed to make me happy in the moment. 

i don't want cadence growing up seeing me make bad decisions, doing things that make her question her place, or my dedication to her, our family, and most importantly the Lord. not only that i don't want her reaping the affects of my decisions! 

there has been so much peace with these changes, even with a world-wind of uncertainties swirling around our life right now.

i know one thing to always be true, Jesus will always provide and time and time again He has proven that, so now just like with my life and my decisions i'm trusting Him with cadence's life and asking Him to guide me in all i do. to lead me in a mind set that will bind my family closer together and benefit His glory. i'm asking Him to teach me how to raise her and guide her. 

so thankful my heart has been changed while she is still so young

my sweet daughter, mama loves you more then the air i breath <3

poor subaru

things have been rather crazy around our house. i had surgery on the 14, started a new job the following tuesday, and last friday we were in a car accident, a guy pulled out of a parking lot and ran right into us as we were driving straight down a main road. our poor subaru!

we were headed to church for our first pre-marriage counseling. 

i was really surprised how well tristan and i both handled ourselves. 

the guy did not show any kind of sympathy or even say sorry, and the next day we figured out why...

he lied to the insurance company and said we hit him!

his damage compared to ours....  not sure how he thought he'd get away with lying.

we both ended up having the same insurance, and they did in fact find him 100% at fault.

i couldn't even wrap my mind around the fact he could lie about something so plain as day, but i guess fear will make people do things. 

tristan's shoulder was injured during the wreck. so we are waiting to see how things turn out with that. he's waiting for an appointment with a specialist. he's also off work, which is not not helping with finances...but we are both staying faithful and know God will provide. 

having each other through trials makes them easier to handle

hello mr. sun

just a fast check in, because i have to get ready for work. 

the days are starting to get warmer which means park dates with friends

cadence and i both love park dates, she gets a chance to run and be wild with her lil friends and i get a chance to unwind and be with my girls and let off steam.

it seems our schedules are a lot busier this year then last, with cubbies, bowling, work, church, cadence's schooling, and some days mixed in where cadence spends time with her dad.  

speaking of cadence's schooling. we are now doing school work at least 3 times a week. certain parts she loves, like playing on starfall or watching her new letter factory movie. others not so much, like tracing letters over and over, but we try to keep things fun. it's really been a test on my patience, but i do love it. 

on the job front... i had an awesome job fall in my lap pretty much. i'm working for a scrapbook/crafting store. well not sure if you call it a store. it's all ran online. but i work where all the products are and i get to see so many cute little pretties! i could spend my whole paycheck on this stuff! i already have plans for some crafting! 

the wedding seems so far yet so close, we still have so much to do. 

each day my love for tristan grows. it's funny when you find your self loving silly things like the smell of their pillow or love packing their lunches and washing their laundry. 

i can just stare at him and my heart gets gushy. 

he's so beautiful to me <3

another update soon <3